ur children -to impart in them the same sense of mystery and wonder of ouryouth. But how do we do that in an increasingly material world?Shopping for our children nowadays can be quite an uncomfortableand expensive experience. Pick up any Saturday newspaper in themonths of November and December and you'll find it stuffed withdozens of flyers promising the best deal on all the must-haveitems: an iPod, a RoboRaptor, or the V-Smile educational toys.Chances are your child's wish list included one or two high-endgadgets and toys. With a list 30 items long, it's no wonder youfeel stuck - stuck between buying expensive gifts and thefeelings and concerns you have for the messages that you may besending to your children by buying them. You may find yourself wondering how to handle the conflict: "Iwant my child to have what they want, and at the same time Iwant my child to have...

... boundaries to their expectations."Let's take a look:Sean is 9 yrs old and lives with his Mom and Dad and 2 yr oldsister. His family went to see Santa last weekend and asexpected Sean brought along his list for Santa. On his list,much to his parents' surprise was an iPod, and a laptopcomputer! Both of his parents were taken aback and confused bysuch high expectations from their son. On the way to Santa's Village they began a discussion about whyhe thought that he wanted these items. Predictably, Sean stated"All my friends have them and they are really neat!!!" Hisparents looked at each other and were very clear that not onlycould they not afford both of these items but also they were notsure why a nine year-old needed such things. Mom and Dad were also aware that several of Sean's peers have orwill receive these types of items for their holiday gifts. Later that evening after the children were in bed, Mom and Daddiscussed their concerns and how to proceed: Do we buy thoseitems for him? Do we say no and have him feel left out of hissocial network? Do we buy one and not the other? All very good questions but what is the correct answer? There isno truly correct answer. The answer lies within his parents'belief system and the messages that they want their children toreceive at times such as these. The bottom-line: If you believe that these types of presents setunrealistic expectations and do not truly encompass the lessonsof the Holiday Season or the financial goals you have for yourfamily will not allow these types of purchases, then stick toyour beliefs. Do not give in to the holiday gimmes. For themessages, both verbal and non-verbal, are loud and clear to yourchildren by your choices in gifts. Many parents are not sure howto talk to their child about the reality of these situations andthe reasoning behind their not purchasing what the child hasrequested. Parents need to be honest and open about theirmotivations and decisions.This holiday season; keep in mind the following tips:Self Awareness: Be clear about your motivations to purchase.Know: Messages that come from your gift-giving.Communicate: To your child the reasons and messages discoveredabove, and allow them to share their feelings.Resolve: For children their confusion and disappointment thatmay arise from your decisions.Re-direct: Your child as to the origins of the season and allowthem to find ways to give back and re-align their expectations....