luttering” ofall, a social calendar that was unmanageable.Life is a series of stages, and there is the “acquiring” stage.However, there came a point where I felt overwhelmed by my“blessings” and took a look at what was going on. At the time,my boyfriend, who was a stock broker, kept saying, “Simplify,simplify.” He lived what I considered a “Sparten existence.”It caused me to take a look at the whole picture. I wasexhausted all the time. I went to a therapist; too bad thereweren’t coaches then. She said I was “trying to do too much.” Iinterpreted it that I wasn’t capable of handling all thesethings, and redoubled my efforts.Coaches make things more clear. “Why are you doing what doesn’tbring you pleasure?” would’ve been the question to ask.Eventually I asked myself that question and here are some of thethings I did.THE CLOTHES I was still operating from an old childhoo...

...dscarcity-mentality. I never had “enough” clothes in high school,not because my parents couldn’t afford it, just that they didn’twant to spend their money on that. I started babysittingrigorously to buy myself clothes and makeup and stuff. Not a badthing to do, but I realized that time was over. I gave a numberof things to Goodwill, set aside a space-allotment, and stuck toit.I did have to “dress” for my profession at the time (PR), so Ichose two outfits I could accessorize in infinite ways. Scarves,jewelry and pins take far less storage space!THE DOGS Two were strays we had “adopted,” under pressure frommy good-hearted son. However, they were difficult dogs, nothaving been well-raised, and took far more work than ouroriginal family pet. I decided to give up this rescuingmentality and at the same time educate my children. We foundgood homes for two of them, and the family pact was “no more.”We stuck with our one chosen, well-cared for, and well-traineddog.THE ENTERTAINING WARE That’s a hard one. It’s been an abidinginterest and love in my life, to entertain with all theaccoutrements. I decided that was an okay hobby, but to stickwith what I had for a long time. How many sets of Christmastablemats does one really need?THE COOKWARE Life is choices. I could eliminate a lot of thesethings by turning to fast food, eating out, less elaboratemeals. I decided this was not something to sacrifice. There arehealth benefits to wok cooking, steamers, double boilers, etc.,and "happy" benefits to beautiful Bundt cakes. My youngest sonparticularly enjoyed the camaraderie of a fondue meal. Ourfamily dinners were fun for all of us, and a good thing, and Ididn’t want to sacrifice that for “convenience.”Not everything in the enriched life should be “efficient.”THE FINANCIAL PICTURE My stocks were scattered all over theplace, and we consolidated. It seemed risky to me to “put all myeggs in one basket,” but we did, and it resulted in a nicefinancial gain. THE ORGANIZATION I decided it wasn’t all that I had that was theproblem – many of them were valuable to me and my lifestyle – itwas the organization of it all.One thing I did was buy containers, for instance, “falldecorations” and got everything in one place. I added to the boxmy apparel for that time of year – autumn sweaters, accessories,and jewelry. I labeled them clearly, stacked them in one place,and felt better about it all.I tackled the gift-producing area. I had a bow maker, rolls ofpaper, ribbons, ready for every occasion. It was a time when theboys would be invited to a birthday party quite suddenly, and itkept me from “running out” at the last minute to buy thewrapping. This I decided to eliminate. The storage spacerequired and the clutter were not worth it, and it seemed Inever had the right thing anyway. I bought 10 generic gift bagswith white tissue, appropriate for any age or occasion.Also, seeing myself “burdened” by the gifts coming my way – thatteddy bear statuette just wasn’t “me” even if it was expensivecrystal – I switched to what I call “disposable” gifts. Sendingsomeone a floral arrangement, or a basket of fruit, or aHoney-baked ham would note the occasion, but it would “go away”and they wouldn’t have to find a place for it.I have never been comfortable giving money, but giftcertificates seemed possible. It showed at least a little“thought” and “effort,” the two things I find missing in giftsof money. (Not that I’ve ever refused one!)For those with no material needs whatsoever, I would donatemoney to a charity close to their heart. That is greatlyappreciated by most people. Charities list in their newsletterthe gifts made in honor of, or in memory of, others, and that’sa nice touch.Re: the people in my life, I took a look at theinvestment-return ratio. Some of them, I had to admit, were adrain. With me being in a helping profession, some were “using”me for free counseling, while making no improvements in theirlives, and that didn’t give me the friendship I needed, orprovide for them the counseling or coaching they needed.I made a list of the people who really meant something to me,with whom I had strong mutual bonds, and I whittled away at theones who didn’t contribute anything to my life. We call this incoaching, “getting rid of tolerations.” Yes, people can be“tolerations” and I think this is one of the more important “ahhahs” Thomas Leonard, the founder of coaching, gave to the world.I eliminated immediately the ones who were a negative drain onme, and took a closer look at ones wanting entry. I quietlydiscouraged some “friendships” from ever occurring in the firstplace. Life is choices.I believe that our lives are greatly influenced by the 5 peoplewe spend the most time with. I made sure the Top 5 were the onesI wanted and needed them to be.META-THEORY I decided to slow myself down at the checkoutcounter. I disciplined myself for 6 months. I would not make anyimpulse buys. I would go home and consider it. Usually it wasn’tworth the effort to go back.I would not go shopping to “window shop.” There’s no such thing!There’s always something attracts my eye I think I “must have.”Shopping would be a necessity for essentials, not Saturdayafternoon entertainment for me and the kids.I put more thought into the things I gave others so as to slowthe flow into their lives as well.READY FOR THE NEW YEAR As you participate in, or observe, theshopping frenzy of the holiday season. Ask yourself, “Why am Idoing this?”Good reasons are: ·It’s meaningful ·I enjoy it ·I know it’ssomething I can afford and know it’s something they need orwould likeBad reasons are: ·I don’t know why ·To keep up with the Joneses·Because I always have ·Because you're supposed toOserve closely your own behavior. That’s the beginning of makingpositive changes.It’s the emotionally intelligent thing to do!...