them organized and undermanagement. Knowledge is power!Figure out the different things you’re feeling, label them, andidentify their source. Then take a piece of paper and draw aline down the middle. On one side write “I can do something about this” and on theother write, “I can’t do anything about this.” Proceed to make alist under each column. Then you know the drill: Do what you canabout those you can address, and modify your response to thoseyou can’t. Here are three examples:1.You’re nervous about doing a great Thanksgiving celebration.This is normal. Getting “up” for things gives us the extraenergy to carry them off. It’s just you don’t want it to getout-of-hand. If you assume there’s something wrong with feelingthis way because cool people don’t, number one, you’re wrong,and number two, you’re giving it too much power. Get it inperspective and on a leash becaus...

...e after a certain point itisn’t helpful. 2.You’re nervous Aunt Betty will pick a fight with your sisteragain. There’s nothing you can do about that except manage yourresponse. It isn’t something you’re responsible for, whicheveryone knows, and you needn’t let it ruin the occasion foryou. If it helps, consider some ways of dealing with it. Hereare three: ignoring it and directing conversation elsewhere;distracting one of them (ask them a question) or both of them(drop a platter loudly in the kitchen); or asking them to takeit outside so the rest of you can enjoy the day. 3.You’renervous you’ll burn the turkey. To solve this, get information.Read a cookbook, call your mom, get on the Internet andresearch. Make sure you have a good timer, which could actuallybe your partner! Monitor your self-talk by reminding yourself how generallycompetent you are. Then start making lists and gettingorganized. Worrying doesn’t help. Information and taking actiondo. NEXT STEP – ORGANIZEGet those random thoughts on paper. Make a list with thefollowing headings:Invitations and RSVPs Guests’ Special Needs Menu SeatingDecorations Shopping Cooking Cleaning the house HelpIt’s time to firm up who’s coming so you’ll have a count forseating, food, etc. As you confirm their attendance, ask aboutspecial needs. Under each category write down what needs to be done. Then movewhat you can do NOW to another list and get started. No need towait!Here are some examples to jog your thinking. HOUSECLEANINGNow’s the time to decorate, clean oven and refrigerator, polishsilver, wash windows and table linens, and prepare theappearance of the guest bath. You want to save only the touch-upfor the last minute – redoing the floors, a quick vacuum, and alittle dusting.If you’re planning to have a cleaning service come, book themimmediately. They get busy.MENUPlan your menu now and be smart about it. Plan foods of 3different types: ones you can do ahead and freeze or store, onesyou can do the day before, and ones that are last minute. Keeplast-minute items to a minimum. In group 1, a pumpkin piefreezes well and homemade cranberry relish actually tastesbetter if made ahead of time. In group 2, stuffing and greenbean casserole you can make the day before. (Buy canned turkeybroth if necessary.) In group 3, mashed potatoes are best donejust before serving.If you’re planning to order anything from a caterer, do it now.If you need to special-order anything (wine, favors), do it now.One thing I do is to plan one thing that’s really smashing inpresentation (flaming crepes, a decorated pie crust, somethinginsane with the turkey platter). This gets their attention andthe other things can be plain jane. SHOPPINGShop now for staples – flour, sugar, butter, canned goods,anything that will keep especially if there might be a run onit, like canned pumpkin pie or stuffing mix. You’ll probablyneed a last-minute run (like for fresh lettuce), but if you canlimit the time that will take, you’ll be glad. A few of the things that get hard to find where I live arewhipping cream, fresh cranberries, turkeys of the size you want,and frozen pie shells. Each of these things keeps well and canbe bought right now. If you can’t recall what your stores runout of, pay attention this year so you’ll be prepared for nextyear. That’s the EQ way.FOOD PREPThink ahead about counter, refrigerator and prep space. If youuse a frozen turkey, clear out freezer space. Pare down therefrigerator to make space for the turkey as it thaws and otherdishes, and later, the leftovers. Make counter space by moving toaster and canisters to the pantrytemporarily. Set up a card table in the corner of the kitchen.Or get the laundry done, clear off top of dryer and washer (orcover with board) and use that space. If you live in a cold climate, you have the option of storingthings judiciously, and for a short while, on a back porch. Onlyif it’s cold enough! THE LISTMake a list, work through it, then make the next list. Theshopping list will change for instance.I always post a copy of the menu on my refrigerator because Iblush to tell you that one year I forgot one of the side dishesthat was buried in the refrigerator. This is because I serve many different things, but you don’tneed to. The easiest way to get through this, if you’restressed, inexperienced or having to work late Wednesday, is tokeep it simple and ask others to bring dishes. LET OTHERS HELPYou don’t have to do this all by yourself and you don’t have topay money for the help either. Of course you could call a rentalplace and a caterer, but Thanksgiving is a time of, well,GIVING, and people like to. As someone who has been a guest forThanksgiving a lot in recent years, I can tell you how much Ilike to be ALLOWED to bring something. Ask people to bring side dishes or desserts. Assign cleaningchores to different members of your household. Ask yourmother-in-law, the Craft Diva, to make the centerpiece. Ask yourspouse to take the kids out for dinner the night before so youcan work undistracted. Get your brother-in-law to be responsiblefor chairs. Most people love to help. Give them a chance to do this as partof your Thanksgiving gift to them.PROCESSWhen it’s over, make notes about what went well, what didn’t andwhy. Then you’ll be ahead of the game next year. Making lists, thinking things through ahead of time, rememberingwhat you learned last year, and using your EQ are all ways toadd to a Happy Thanksgiving.Good luck!...