A Visit With a Friend

A cornerstone of personal achievement literature is the stories used to support the principles being taught.

These stories are used to teach, inspire and motivate. Within the words used to tell the story is a lesson for us to learn and carry with us.

But as powerful as the messages in these stories can be, they don’t compare to the lessons we can learn from the people we personally come in contact with.

I had the good fortune to experience this recently when my wife, Cindy, and I visited with a long-time friend of hers that she had not seen in many years. Her name is Jean, and she is one remarkable lady.

What makes Jean so remarkable can be summed up in one word, attitude.

As Jean and my wife reminisced and caught each other up on events, I listened. Jean has experienced more than her share of adversity over the years, including breast cancer. Yet through it all she has maintained her sense of humor, her faith and a great outlook on life.

“The last of human freedoms - the ability to chose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances.”
~Viktor Frankl Austrian psychiatrist and psychotherapist. 1905-1997

Jean is a wonderful example of how a person can exercise the freedom and ability to choose one’s attitude.

Between the time of the mastectomy and the reconstructive surgery, Jean could have been filled with resentment or loss of self-esteem. Instead, she was more concerned with how it would affect her granddaughter. So she chose to explain what was happening, in a way that a child could understand and deal with. Jean chose to be more concerned about her granddaughter’s feelings, than her own.

During the chemotherapy and eventual hair loss, Jean chose to use her excellent sense of humor. She picked out wigs with different styles and colors to wear to work. One day she may be a blond, another a redhead. One day she had long straight hair, another short and curly. The people she worked with would come by just to see “who Jean was today”.

When she first went back to work, she had wanted to keep what she had been through quiet. She did not want or need a “pity-party”. When word did get out, she could have been upset that her wishes were not followed, or by the invasion of privacy, but a remarkable thing happened.

Jean was amazed at how many people came by with questions because either they or someone close to them was going through a similar ordeal. Jean chose to see this as a way to help, comfort and support others. To her she was not doing anything special, she was just doing what God had intended. Jean found meaning and a way to help others from her own suffering.

So just what is Jean’s secret? How does she maintain her positive attitude?

Toward the end of our visit, Jean revealed her secret. As I mentioned earlier, Jean has had more than her share of adversity, the breast cancer is just one example. She made a statement about the adversities that I will always remember.

Jean said, “While at times I’ve been scared, angry or sad, on the inside I’ve always been happy”.

The lesson that I will carry with me is this; Happiness is a choice. It comes from the inside. As long as a person decides to be happy, and accepts that happiness is internal, they have a greater ability to deal with adversity. The surface emotions brought about by circumstance, cannot change the inner core of whom we are.

Exercising the ability to choose our attitude, and choosing wisely, we strengthen our inner core. When we strengthen our inner core, it is easier to make a wise choice in any given circumstance. It is a self-perpetuating cycle, and it is completely within our control.

Article by Ron Kirkland from Learning To Succeed. The free email newsletter dedicated to personal development by Success Review - Success Can Be Learned. Visit http://www.successreview.com. Subscribe now at http://www.successreview.com/ezine.htm and claim your free bonus gifts.

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