How To Get What You Want...From The People You Want It From
Successful feedback is usually associated with improvingemployee productivity, but feedback is not just forsupervisor-employee relationships. Being able to deliver honest,constructive feedback is also vital to healthy relationships athome.You give feedback to your children, spouse, friends, doctor, andeven your hair stylist.If you run a home based business, you also need to be able togive effective messages to suppliers, customers, marketers, andweb-site designers, just to na...
...me a few.Being unable to give feedback successfully could set you up forfeeling taken advantage of, frustrated, under- appreciated, andoverwhelmed.Putting these methods into practice will help you provide honestcommunication that will protect your time and needs, yet evenimprove your relationships.1. Successful communication requires that you get the otherperson's full attention. Plan your discussion at a time whenboth parties can focus on the situation. Asking your teenager torethink the way she's spending her money while she's got arented movie and friends in the other room is guaranteed to beignored. Telling an employee to redo a report as you rush out toa meeting is almost always going to generate hurt feelings.Choose a quiet time, and schedule enough time so that you don'tfeel obliged to rush through the conversation.2. Successful communication is on-going, not an out ofleft-field ambush. When someone does something great, don'tassume they know how you feel. Tell them! The same is true forwhen you need to correct a behavior. "May I make a suggestion"are very valuable words for an on-going dialogue of behavior.3. Successful communication focuses on behavior, notpersonalities. People will always respond more readily to factsthan fault-finding. Don't make it personal. Always avoid sarcasmor insults. Whether it's negative or positive feedback, connectit to specific examples, which will help take the focus off theindividual and highlight the behavior instead. Tell him exactlywhat he did that was not acceptable, or in the reverse help himto continue appropriate behavior by praising his accomplishments.4. Successful communication will motivate, not discourageindividuals. We all feel the need to hear from others how we aredoing. It's a basis for communication and trust. A discussionresulting in an exchange of ideas and information is always apowerful motivator. Knowing what actions you want, what yourgoals are, and having a method to give them to you will motivatepeople to please you. Motivated people have specific goals andlook for ways to achieve them, and efficiency is a naturalresult of that.5. Successful communication focuses on one thing at a time. Bespecific. If you are giving negative feedback, be direct aboutwhat the problem is, stick to the topic, and avoid dragging inother problems. Instead of telling your teenager that you'vebeen proud of her attitude lately, compliment an exact time shewas willing to do something without a fuss. Instead of saying"Hey Chuck, nice work on that project", try "Hey Chuck, I reallyappreciate you working so closely with XYZ Vendor to get thatequipment delivered on time".6. Successful feedback focuses on things the individual can dosomething about. Feedback concerning matters that are out of theindividual's control is not useful. It only increases a person'sfrustration to be criticized for something they can't doanything about. Reprimanding your teenager for spending too muchtime on an assignment is unfair since she can't control herteachers' requests. Expecting your associate to write a businessletter the same way you would is impossible since he can't readyour mind.7. Successful communication offers solutions. When you must givenegative feedback to someone, always focus on what correctiveaction they can take. Be willing to give them the support andtools needed to correct the situation. Discuss the options, orexplain the rules and clearly define the consequences. Theobjective of successful communication is to help the person viewthe information as an opportunity to learn, instead of a threat.By offering specific examples, you will be able to relate howchanging his behavior will help him achieve his goal.8. Try using the "feedback sandwich". A feedback sandwich is alanguage tool that assists you in giving clear and specificmessages in an acceptable way. Begin with a specific praise,then your constructive advice using the tools above, thenadditional praise. It's very important that your acknowledgmentsbe true about the individual, not just general positivestatements.
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