Babies: How to Get Your Children Excited About the New Arrival
The sudden appearance of a new baby can be rough on the otherchildren in the family. Daily routines are disrupted andsuddenly mom and dad are too busy to pay attention to oldersiblings. Worst of all, the new baby is the instant star of thef...
...amily - the center of attention. The adorable baby is the bigattraction for everyone from mom and dad, to visiting relatives,to casual acquaintances bumped into at the mall, right down tostrangers on the street. Everyone is talking baby talk, cooingat the new baby, and making a fuss over the newborn. The olderkids may feel shunted aside and resentful. This is especiallytrue for the displaced former baby of the family. Given these natural reactions, anything that you can do toprepare your other children for the new arrival will ease thetransition. Everything you can do to involve your kids inadvance and to get them to actually look forward to the birthwill make a big difference in how they experience it. It mighteven help establish a stronger brother or sister bond with thenew baby that will contribute to the lasting closeness of apositive sibling relationship. Here are some simple ideas that expectant parents might try, tosmooth the road ahead for their other children. Most are commonknowledge or simply common sense, but sometimes too easilyforgotten amid all the excitement and activity surrounding thebirth of a new baby. A few might be new ideas that are worth atry. A little advance thought and preparation may go a long waytowards making the "blessed event" a blessing for the ENTIREfamily. Hopefully, you'll be inspired to try some of theseideas, so here goes. Let your other kids in on the secret as soon as the pregnancyis confirmed, well before it is obvious just by looking at mom.Even with your youngest children, try to give them someunderstanding of the changes that mom is going through and whatthey mean. Check out your local public library. It should havebooks geared to all different ages that can explain, in termsthat children can understand, the biological process of having ababy. Picture books about baby animals may also help crystalizethe concept and relate it to something your kids have alreadyexperienced, like watching newborn kittens, for example. The library or local bookstore should also be able to guide youto works of fiction, including picture books for preschoolers,that focus on the arrival of a new baby in the family and suchissues as jealousy and feelings of neglect. Quiet parent-childstory reading times can provide an ideal opportunity to prepareyoung children for changes that are on the way and to reassurethem of their own importance and irreplaceable position in thefamily. Discuss things openly and answer your kids' questions. Encourage your children to think about life with the new babyand how family routines will be altered. Coax your kids todevelop their own lists of things that will be fun about havinga new baby in the house - for example, they can push the babycarriage and help dress the baby. Help them think about all thethings that they'll be able to share with and teach the baby ashe or she grows up and how important their role will be as a"big brother" or "big sister". At other times, let them focus on coming up with ways that theycan help care for the baby or have them think of things they cando around the house to ease the burden on mom and dad. Also,take this opportunity to make your kids aware that babiesrequire gentle handling and a quiet environment. You might evenuse a baby doll with your younger children to role play baby'sdiaper changing and feeding. Nurture the feeling that every family member is of equalimportance and that each occupies a special niche and hasspecial contributions to make. No one is being replaced by thebaby and the family cannot be whole unless EVERYONE is a part ofit. If your kids internalize this belief, you may be able toavoid some of the trauma and the understandable resentmenttoward this little stranger who has stolen mommy and daddy'shearts. The better your children are prepared for the impendingevent, the better they'll be able to cope with it emotionally. As part of that preparation process, from time to time planspecial activities with your kids that relate to babies. Forexample, they might draw pictures of babies or collect babyphotos from magazines and create a collage. Sit down and gothrough photo albums of your kids' baby pictures and reminiscewith them about their own arrivals into the world. Re-tell anyfamily anecdotes surrounding their births. Teach your childrenlullabies that they can sing to the baby, plus finger games and"peek-a-boo" games to entertain their new brother or sister. Arts and crafts projects can furnish a special parent-childdiscussion and sharing time and may sometimes revolve aroundpreparations for the new baby. Kids can make pictures to hang inthe baby's room, or create a baby-safe mobile to hang over thebaby's crib, or draw scenes in which they imagine their liveswith the new baby - rocking the baby in their arms, and soforth. Let the kids be involved in every facet of the preparationsthat you yourself are making for the baby's arrival. Your kidscan help you repaint the nursery or paint a mural on the nurserywall, and help you pick out baby furniture, bedding and nurserydecorations. They can choose baby clothes that appeal to them.All of these things can later give the children pride and asense of importance and inclusion in the baby's life. Whengrandma says "What a cute bib the baby's wearing," yourpreschooler can say "I picked it !" In addition, make your children key members of the familycommittee that chooses a name for the new baby. Keep the kidsinvolved and actively participating and then, as the birthbecomes imminent, dad and the kids may even conspire to preparesome extra, special, secret surprises for mom and the baby, likebuying or creating a special keepsake item or putting together a"welcome home" party. In short, it's always worth the effort to do as much as you canto get your kids involved in and excited about the arrival of anew baby. Include them in every step of the process. The morethey feel that it is THEIR baby, too, the more positive theirattitudes will be towards the baby. In this way, you can try tominimize the natural insecurities and feelings of jealousy thatgo with the territory. The suggestions mentioned in this article can help lay thegroundwork for good sibling relationships but, of course, youcan't rest on your laurels once the baby is born. After the babyarrives, try to do everything you can to set aside some specialtime each day that's just for you and each of your otherchildren. Offer them special little treats or outings orsurprises, and encourage grandma and grandpa to do the same. Toreduce jealousy, give your kids pride in the things that theyCAN do that the baby can't do, like dressing themselves orenjoying a movie or reciting their ABCs. Continue along the paththat you started on months earlier - reassure your kids thateach of them is just as important as the baby is, so that theywon't feel that they must compete for your love and attention. Good luck and oh, by the way, congratulations !
|
