Birth of a Baby, Birth of a Parent
So you’re pregnant? Congratulations! Your life is about tochange in ways you might find unthinkable (and we’re not eventalking about the surrender of your once slim waistline toproportions most comparable to that of a Dr. Suess character).P...
...regnancy is the beginning of a new life for a baby, but also anew life for you as a parent. If this is your first baby, youmay be filled with an endless list of questions and concerns. Ifyou’re a veteran of the labor and delivery room, you’ve got abetter idea of what to expect, yet every pregnancy, like everymother and child, is different. Making ChoicesWhile pregnancy and birth have physiologically been the samesince the beginning of time, your options as a pregnant womantoday are greater than at any previous time in history. Afterconfirming your pregnancy, your first (and arguably mostimportant) decision to be made is choice of caregiver. Whiletraditionally in the U.S., maternal care has been providedthrough obstetrical physicians and hospital births, there is agrowing movement towards return to low intervention,midwife-assisted births. How do you know which is right for you?Consider what is most important to your birth experience (alwaysremembering that birth is anything but predictable andflexibility is vital). Are you interested in birthing naturally,without the aid of drugs or invasive procedures? Would yourather give birth at home or in a birthing center as opposed toa hospital? A midwife may be the right choice for you.Conversely, if you know up front you’ll want an epidural at thefirst sign of labor pain you’ll probably find theanesthesiologist at your local hospital to be your best friend.Keep in mind, each choice has its pros and cons and it’s up toyou to weigh which option is the best for your needs. If yougive birth at home and have complications, you’ll need to betransported to the hospital. Epidurals may provide excellentpain relief (or not), but have potentially serious, althoughrare, side effects. Some birthing centers will not accept amother attempting vaginal birth after caesarean section (VBAC).Being an educated consumer in your pregnancy will allow the bestpossible birth experience and beginning for your new baby. Planning for BabySomewhere around middle to late pregnancy (usually about thetime you can no longer see your toes because of your protrudingmiddle), you’ll want to start making accommodations at home foryour babies expected arrival. If this is your first, trustyourself to the care of an experienced mommy friend who canprevent “New Mother Shopping Syndrome,” i.e., going to Babies ‘RUs and spending an exorbitant amount of money on babyparaphernalia that, not only do you not need, but you will neveruse. Yes, the mommy bear that emits sounds of the womb is cute.No, your baby will not be fooled. This is the time to cultivateself control, which will particularly come in handy when yourprecious baby has become a 16-year old who has just wrecked thefamily car. Babies actually need very little in the way of gear for thefirst few months of life. If you’re planning to family bed, youcan skip the nursery furniture altogether. Some good choices ofuseful items include a five-point harness infant car seat, aquality hospital grade breast pump if you’re planning tobreastfeed (Medela is the gold star standard), and plenty ofOnesies for sleep and play. A baby sling is also useful forhelping mom get things done around the house while still meetingthe babies need to be held, and also for discreet publicbreastfeeding. Skip the infant carrier, which can only be usedfor about six months, at which point you’ll have to purchase aregular car seat anyway. Also unnecessary are baby toys, gyms,etc., which will not be of interest to the infant until they areat least six months. Delivering the GoodsPrepare for labor and delivery by compiling a plan for yourcaregiver sharing your wishes for birth. Discuss your feelingson all types of medical intervention including the use ofepidural, IV’s, artificial rupture of the membranes, fetalmonitors, episiotomy, etc. Remember that a birth plan is simplythat, a plan. Since no one knows exactly how any given birthwill proceed, it is not a guarantee of any kind. While themother’s experience with birth is important, the ultimate goalis a healthy baby, whatever it takes to achieve it. A birth planis simply helpful in communicating the type of birth experienceyou would like to have, and if you have made a wise selection incaregiver, you will have someone who will work with you to honorthese wishes to the extent they are possible. You may want tohire a doula to assist during labor. A doula’s purpose is tosupport and be an advocate for the mother, and can be helpful inachieving the mother’s goals towards birth.Surviving the First WeeksAfter nine months of waiting and planning, your baby is finallyin arms. What next? Despite that you might feel you’ve gottenaway with something when the hospital staff actually allows youto leave with your baby (whom you think you have no idea how tocare for), remembering a few simple tips can help things go moresmoothly. Feed your baby on demand. Don’t try to schedule feedingsessions, which can be detrimental to establishing a proper milksupply if breastfeeding, and simply isn’t good for baby. Keep arecord of wet and soiled diapers for the first few weeks toassure baby is taking in enough breast milk or formula. Hold baby as often as possible. Contrary to popular opinion, hecan’t be spoiled. Always remember to place your baby on his back to sleep andtummy to play, to lower the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome(SIDS). Call your pediatrician if your baby develops a fever, or if youhave any questions or concerns. Most importantly, remember motherhood is a work in progress andcut yourself some slack. You will make mistakes, learn, grow andchange. Both babies and parents are born, and neither reachestheir full potential overnight.
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