Have You Lost Your Mind?!
He was fighting me every step of the way, arched back, stiffenedlegs and an indignant bellow. With my mind focused on securelyfastening my toddler in his seat, all else was an insignificantdistraction. Even when my remote became wedged betw...
...een myhipbone and the carseat and locked the doors. Even when my keys,once secured in my pocket, dislodged and fell to the floor. Yes,they were all just distractions. When I accomplished the chaotictask and my son was secured in his babyseat I shut that door andknodded with the confidence of a true champion. Have you ever had one of those slow-motioned moments when youknow you just did something really unintelligent? Well, the tonof bricks hit me right before that door slammed. My stomach sunkand I looked at my babe who was staring back at me through aslightly tinted window with those wide, bright blue eyes waitingfor me to make the next move. Thank goodness the windows werecracked and more thanks and goodness that it was a cool Autumnday. But what to do next flooded my head and my heart began torace. Yes, my first thought was that nifty little yellowtow-truck, but how long would it take to reach me? There must besomething else I could do, maybe try a little brute strength. Ipositioned my forearms between the doorjamb and cracked windowas if I would miraculously pry it open...fruitless. Then, Ijourneyed to the back hoping that the trunk would not be lockedin conjunction with the rest of the doors...to no avail. It wasa terrible moment. Though I was in the family-friendlyenvironment of my older son's swim lessons, I had to face thatfact that I would have to acknowledge my glaring blunder infront of all the other kids, parents and teachers who would beobserving this whole ordeal unfold.I rushed to the owner's side, who rushed to her office to phonefor help. She immediately called her roadside service.Sensibility began to seap back into my head as I noticed panicrushing into hers. I asked for a wire hanger. Yes, I realizedthat today's lock tops are not as easily accessible as theflat-disk shaped tops of yesteryear, but why not give it a try.I hustled back to my car and unraveled and retwisted and foldedand molded that hanger into a handy widget and fished it downinto my car. I weedled it around the middle of the lock at themost subtle indention. I was able to hook and yank it with amighty jerk. The locks went up, the alarm went off and I openedmy door and reached down to my back floor mat to grab thoseauspicious keys. Roadside was cancelled, I have a new andimproved relationship with my son's swimming instructors andhopefully I have learned that some distractions are to be takenvery seriously.Perhaps you have heard the saying that for every child you givebirth to a percentage of your brain. Why has it become so commonthat I forget things? What happen to that efficient, organizedand precise thinking that I needed for my job within thehigh-profile corporation. If I operated in this manner in thatenvironment I would have never made it out alive. Has each of mychildred placed a deficiency in my cranial cavity? Aside fromthe episode above, there have been more oddities: refrigeratordoors left open, milk in the cupboard and plenty of burnt meals.As the strangeness began to add up, I found the courage toconsult my friends. They too had their heaping share of stories.Feeling better that someone shared my pain; I was compelled tolook up more information on the web. I read stories upon storiesof moms in the same predicament. I followed this observation upwith medical research as to why this happens; and, while eventhe medical profession could not offer a clear and finalexplanation, there were plenty of possible excuses offered.Hormones, the fact that the brain shrinks during pregnancy(supposedly to return to normal size thereafter), post partumdepression symptom, sleep deprivation and finally thedistractions and chaos that come with raising children allsurmised the malady quite well. The last two I am going to graspand hold on to as my alibi...that's my story and I'm stickin' toit!Think of the distractions your mind inherits once you find outyou are pregnant - all those things that could go wrong beforethe baby comes, plus you have to eat for you and for the baby.During childbirth, you may turn down painkillers or epidurals -for the baby. Zero to six months are dedicated to avoidingnewborn dangers and providing comfort for the baby. Toddlerhoodis your period of safety precautions (aka - 'more and moredangers') for the baby. Kindergarten yields its own newdiscoveries of parental inadequacy and so on. One friend who iscurrently tormented by her oldest son's first year of middleschool, says that not only does she worry about her own peaksand valleys, but now her son's middle school insecurities arefed directly into her as well. Till you are smiling down fromheaven above, you will be worrying about your children and howto keep them safe, healthy and happy. Obvious, right? Well, ifit is so obvious why do we as moms, wonder why our ability tofocus, process information and remember things has gone to thebirds? Why are we secretly wondering what is wrong with us andwhether or not we are clinically losing it or just showing theearly signs of senility? Why do moms begin to label themselvesas stupid (a common occurance in the chatroom scripts I read),less than adequate or incapable of furthering themselves in anintellectual manner, with intellectual people?I am encouraging all of you once fiercely sharp women to forgivethis phase of your mental life. The distraction of raisingchildren is reason enough to miss a couple cues during yourdaily routine. Add any type of medical matter to this packageand you are to be given extra allowance of compassion. While weare so lucky to experience our children's delight and victoriesas they grow, so must we endure their pain and sorrow. In doingso, it can overwhelm, divert and consume our every thought.While I would love to give you the timetable of recovery, Icannot. I can only look at the many other moms and grandmotherswho are still thriving and be inspired that no matter how much'matter' you lose, there is still a chance to live a wonderfullyfruitful life well into your golden years, kids included!
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